I don't charge a consultation fee because I don't get many that don't follow through once they've committed to the consultation. I think that might be because I consult from home and people feel it's ruder to pull back from that than if I was in an external premises. But I have had a few people booking appointments then not turning up or cancelling at the last minute which is annoying in itself when you've arranged to keep the time free.

Events can be difficult though. Lots of 'tyre-kickers'. You're always aware too that the person hovering while you're engaged in conversation with the person who is never going to order could very well be the real potential client, but you can't be rude and cut the chatter off, at least not instantly. It can be tricky. Better if you can have two people manning a stand but that's often not possible.

"As for people not getting that you didn't just magically become amazing at corsetry over night - lets just say if people actually knew the hours and money I put into things such as visiting museums, going to courses, finding rare books, sewing in straight lines over and over again.... they wouldn't belittle my skills so readily, but would probably lock me away"

Haha, fully empathise with this...

Joann, I completely agree with everything you just said!
Socially awkward people seem to be very common in the "scene" and there are a few people on certain forums etc who can be very difficult to deal with because of that. (Not saying I'm not socially awkward because I know that I am, I just don't have to deal with myself haha)
About the event - I paid £175 (over $200) for a pitch at a big local "alternative and burlesque" event which had been pitched as being full of higher end stores.
Was it f**k... I was next to and opposite two stands selling corsets. They were both corsets UK resellers.
The one next to me sold a corset to a girl who walked off wearing it with the busk running own her spine. I wanted to cry.
I also took lots of smaller things (pasties etc) to sell and lots of samples to try on, as well as having two wasp waisted mannequins displaying my work and a number of beautiful images of past work on display. I had lots of interest but no sales and (crucially) no follow up sales to date. Most of the interest was from "models" who wanted to "collaborate" with me or from casual seamstresses who wanted to learn corsetry.
I was gutted as I'd spent hours preparing little bags with flyers, postcards with my work, a little chocolate, a sticker with my logo etc in to give to potential customers
People didn't seem to understand that I made everything on the stand myself, which was another frustrating thing.
I don't think events like that are designed for people with a quality/expensive product to be honest, the people seem to spend frugally (fair enough, I would myself) and have no interest in the things they can't buy then and there.
I'm considering running a stand at a bridal fair in the future as I think the attitude people (or at last me) approach those with is a little different. Not sure I'm ready to deal with bridal commissions though *sigh*
As for people not getting that you didn't just magically become amazing at corsetry over night - lets just say if people actually knew the hours and money I put into things such as visiting museums, going to courses, finding rare books, sewing in straight lines over and over again.... they wouldn't belittle my skills so readily, but would probably lock me away

At the event (mentioned previously) - I'd paid for the space at the venue, had friends helping me set up. I'd made small items to sell and brought a portfolio of previous work - I started the day off with a friend of a friend backing her behind up to me to have me lace her into her (purchased from another maker) brand new corset! The moment was so awkward, I could do nothing but complement her and lace her. There just wasn't any where to go with it. I'd met this girl twice before, once at introduction and once she stopped by the store where I work to ask me how to build her own corset. I couldn't really tell her, because in truth, I've spent the last 12 years studying corsetry, the last 7 years learning to make them by trial and error, and the last 30 years sewing and only currently feel as if I'm making any visible progress to justify all that. How would I convey that in a casual chat? Not that I would want to. She left miffed, because "she wouldn't tell me how to make a corset". [ I was polite, offered to work with her as a fee-based consultant, and referred her to FR, if I remember correctly.] I'm not sure that I'll spend any more time talking with her. I need to set limits somewhere.

Which brings me to: there is a certain percentage of the population that is either mentally or socially challenged or both. And there are those who are at the very edge of both. They are easily identified by how awkward the social interaction is from the get-go. I don't claim to know what that percentage is, I just know that it exists. This is where knowing our limits and having a few "scripts" mentioned above will come in handy. And sticking to them. Not to be rude, but to help the other person in their understanding of creative output vs. their needs vs. time & money. Some may never 'get' it, so, being firm will keep us from falling over the proverbial time-cliff with them.
Also, corset-making is very popular right now. Once someone knows that you know what you're talking about, it leads to a kind of instant celebrity and we should be aware of it and think before-hand how we'll react. I think that this is what I often run into. It's sort of enjoyable the first time or so, until you figure out that other people's gratuitous curiosity leads to expectations that I will produce on demand for nothing. In the end, I'm a maker, not a movie star. Perhaps we're all sort of both? Traverse the outward role (the fantasy) while maintaining and guarding the slow, steady creative process. Who really wants to know that it takes years of study and research and a continuing out lay of cash for supplies and that the first few pieces (meaning 20 - 50) are tough, time-consuming and often, less-than-stellar?

This has been happening a lot more to me recently than it used to (two or three times a week rather than maybe once a month)
I'm not sure if it's because I'm better or more well known than I was in the past or because people have less money to spend on luxury items and so having an in depth chat with a crafts-person is like a step up from window shopping and helps them indulge in their fantasies a little?
Either way I have been thinking a lot the past couple of weeks about the best way to handle people who either never intended to order but do like your work and may order in the future if you treat them with courtesy, or people who seem to just want to chat or to make friends with you. I'm happy they like my work but at the end of the day this is my job and responding to pictures of people in OTR corsets or asking for advice on where to buy a corset (!) takes time and time is money.
Perhaps someone could do an article for FR? I know it's a tricky subject but a few ideas about how to respond in a polite manner - even a couple of rough templates to have on hand - would b much appreciated.

"I often think about that in terms of what I"m willing to put up with, time-wise, as well as interaction-wise. Not everyone is our potential client."

Yes! I really like the point you make here. I think that a lot of makers (a lot of crafters and women, in general) feel the pressure to be "all things to all people"... to make whatever they're asked, for whatever budget, for whoever, in a bid to be kind and keep everyone happy. But there are plenty of makers at every price-point and style, to match the plenty of different types of customer... We don't each need to please everyone. I think that if we focus on "mentally command[ing] respect for one's time and work" as you say, we build better foundations for the future of our businesses.